I have not been really interested in blogging much lately. I guess you could say I’m “depressed” but it’s more like extreme apathy. I’m really behind in school and struggling to even go. I sought out mental help at my school and they told me I should really take medicine. Because I don’t have insurance, I literally called 30 places, and they either told me they weren’t accepting people now and it wouldn’t be possible for a few months or that they don’t handle situations like mine (i.e. not their specific field — some of the places were rehab clinics and such).
At this point, to be honest and completely frank (those of you who know me well should know that’s something I’m used to), I really could care less about going to school and only go to my job because I cannot afford to get fired — if I get fired, we cannot afford to eat, and overeating is pretty much the only thing I get any joy out of when I’m depressed.
I am trying to “be strong” but there’s just not much out there. My life isn’t hard by any stretch of the imagination: I have somewhere to live, friends, options, fun things to do, but I literally care not for any of it. I don’t even care enough to cry.
I find it pretty weird that I would post this in a public entry, but it’s just the only explanation I have. Sorry for my absense.
