So I’ve not posted in the past month, but I’m probably about to post twice in a row to make up for it a little bit.
I’ve since found a therapist and possible psychiatric solutions, but I’ve been completely fine for the past week or more because I’m not having to worry about school — all of my stress seems to stem from the idea of “growing up” or “finding a career.” I think it’s just the idea of finding something I have to do for money 40 hours a week.
Anyway, I actually saw my family on Thanksgiving, which was kind of awkward but not completely unpleasant. My grandmother recently found out about my money troubles and about how we don’t have much money for food and she sent me a fuck ton of stuff to eat, so that was awesome.
My New Years Eve went well too. Dan and I went to a friend’s party. It wasn’t super fun because the majority of people there were really conflicting with me in interests (they spent a portion of the night doing drinking games) but we left around 1:30am and headed over to Abi and Tayler’s place to hang out. We had a few more drinks and were there until 5:00am playing Uninvited, a point and click for the NES. The game is ridiculous, but still pretty fun when you’re drinking and taking turns. We never beat it but I’m sure we’ll play more of it next time we see them.
I’m trying to look up for this next year, but I see a lot of issues. Because I failed all of my classes, if I actually choose to go back in the spring I most likely will not get financial aid. Do I want to continue going to school? I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.
Stay tuned for a less personal type post.
My two cents: sometimes I really wish I went into something other than poetry even though it’s my passion and what I want to do with my life, because Columbia is so meh and I’m not going to be able to make money off of my degree unless I go to grad school. So maybe starting over in something else wouldn’t be so horrible. You’re so good at so many things too. Either way maybe some time off would do you good.